I've been thinking, since I decided to embark on this little public writing voyage, about why it's so...goddamned...terrifying. I'm constantly writing in my head, but letting out into the world sends me into a near panic attack. As if any negative response will leave me crushed beyond recognition or recovery; as if any positive response will be utterly undeserved. I don't know how or when I acquired this deep-seated fear of putting myself out there, but it's become paralyzing, and it's getting old.
I can remember every single instance where someone told me that I was good enough or smart enough, and I guess over the past few years, I have accepted every single one of those instances as truth, and have set about living up to them. Or, I suppose, down to them.
Which is pretty fucking stupid.
I wonder how many of us accept positions that allow us to merely survive. I wonder what it will take for us to start telling people who insist that we are worth so little to fuck off. I wonder what would happen if we all, tomorrow, say, or next week, just started saying no. No, we won't keep silent. No, we won't keep our passions quiet so as to better serve your dreams. Nope. Sorry. Not anymore.
What would that world look like?
I wonder how many of us accept positions that allow us to merely survive. I wonder what it will take for us to start telling people who insist that we are worth so little to fuck off. I wonder what would happen if we all, tomorrow, say, or next week, just started saying no. No, we won't keep silent. No, we won't keep our passions quiet so as to better serve your dreams. Nope. Sorry. Not anymore.
What would that world look like?
chaos, but remember, out of chaos comes something new and exciting.
ReplyDeletethe next person that watches you put yourself out there and says, if she can do it i can do it, brings us one person closer to all of us being real.