At the end of my first year of college, the president of the college left to head up another school.  At her farewell banquet, flanked by the Texas state and American flags, after a feast of BBQ and fixins', she looked over her adoring students and said (and I'm paraphrasing, as this was...many...years ago....), "I consider all of you my daughters.  You are strong, compassionate, intelligent...and I have to tell you...I am so...disappointed...in you."  She went on to describe the cutthroat, backstabbing, hateful way she saw us all behaving, and ended by saying something to the effect of, "You are all better than this. Make me proud."  

Today, I was driving between works and I flipped the station and caught the beginning of a particular DJ who begins his show with a montage of funny clips.  Today, he played a man singing the Star Spangled Banner before a baseball game...except that a line or two in, the microphones seemed to be turned toward the crowd...and it was just...thousands of people singing.  

And all of a sudden, I was crying.   

I didn't mean to, I didn't even realize it was happening until I let out a full-on sob.  

I don't consider myself a patriot.  I've spent almost the entirety of this blog bitching about the systems of this country, and how they are so detrimental to so many of us.  But you know? I fucking love this country.  I love this country because it's the kind of place that has been so blessed to not have to deal with bombings every fucking day, that when they happen, the entire country puts its shit away and is just supportive.  Because we've been so lucky to not have war on our doorsteps, to not have had to rebuild entire cities.  

And, like my college president, although I love this country, I'm so....very....disappointed in us.

I'm disappointed that we are not, collectively, absolutely humbled by the people reaching out to Boston from places that suffer deadly bombings on a regular basis.  I'm disappointed that we, as such a young country, have the audacity to make decisions without listening to the lessons taught by those with older histories than us.  I'm disappointed that we continue to ignore the lessons taught by events in our own history, and continue to be surprised that they happen again...and again....and again....

We are an amazing country, founded on amazing principles.  We have tremendous resources, incredible innovation.  We are better than this.  And I so want to be proud of us.