I've been away.  Work has been insane, Dog has some weird skin rash...I feel like if I get fifteen minutes to sit between work and work and four hours of sleep I'm doing really well.  There's so much in my head that I need to get out...I need the time to write so badly, but survival is taking all of my time, all of my energy, all of my thought.  

This has been a week of figuring out what's important.  Not like...saving the world kind of stuff, but rather...saving my life, kind of stuff.  What's important for me.  What are the ideals that I want to live with, that I want to embody?  How do I make my actions match up with those ideals, and how do I make choice that don't put me in a situation where I have to compromise those ideals (too much)?

Honestly, the first thing I need to do is get a better job situation going so I have time to do this kind of bullshit...even if no one is actually reading this, the act of writing it is important for me, so screw it.  I'm skilled enough and smart enough that I should be able to find one...futhermucking...job...that will pay enough to  live so that I can plan my next step.

I need a next step.  Whether it's grad school, or starting the farm/bnb thing (more on this later, I'm so sure...)...I need to be doing something because this shit's killing me.

(Un)fortunately, the GF has some pretty intensive dental work, and I'll be off for three days (in a row!) so she doesn't have to worry about taking care of Dog, &c.  In between walks and making jello, I should have some time to put some stuff out there.  Thank god.    

And now, time for work again.