Aaannnnddd....back to angry.

L likes to watch talent shows.  Likes seeing the weird acts, cringes at the bad ones, sort of revels in it, in her way.

I hate them.

I've never been able to really express why, but they always end up making me kind of upset, vaguely.

Today, we watched America's Got Talent.  Lots of actually really incredible pieces--unique, somewhat inspiring, even.  Impressive.

The last two acts were singers, and it reminded me, or perhaps...got me a bit closer to those things that make me feel squishly and gross about talent shows.

It's a trite, petty thing to complain about, but as a former performer, I'm just going to say it.   Why the fuck are male singers strong, forceful, and brilliant, while female singers are beautiful, angels, and ethereal?  Do you know what that does to those of us who do not fit into this mold?

I never sang to be beautiful.  I never played music to be angelic.  I did it because it communicated something I could not in any other way.  It was meant to be raw, human, strong, authentic.  But it seems that not falling into the beautiful/ethereal category is an automatic out.

I suppose....music to me is so pure, the visual aesthetic shouldn't matter.  If the song touches you, that's what matters.  Not the visual aesthetic of the person putting it out there.

Grrrrrr.  I'm going to stare off the deck now, and get back to my happy place.