Trayvon.

My facebook is blowing up with feelings about this trial.  Mostly disgust, peppered with some "woohoos!" and "See, there? Not guilty!!"    I was refraining from comment, mostly because I think the whole thing's bullshit.  I eventually caved and wrote this in response to a friend's post.

Am I horribly naive in thinking that there needed to be something *other* than a trial here? That this should've somehow opened up a lot of things for serious discussion--*outside* of currently accepted forums--to re-evaluate some things we take for granted, possibly without even know that we do so? That maybe, in the same way that Boston shut down after the marathon bombings, we all needed a minute to do the same--to shut down, to cease movement, to examine what really lay at the heart of this? 

A conservative friend posted that Zimmerman said something to the effect of "There are no winners here; this is still a tragedy." Part of me bristles at this; for someone thrilled at the outcome, that's a hollow concession. But a part of me wants to scream that that's exactly right. That putting this through a justice system that we already *know* is corrupt is missing the point: that the event, in itself, is telling enough. That nothing new will come from filtering it through a biased system. That at some point, we're going to need to address the why and not just the outcomes.

I don't know. I suppose I'm just disheartened by seeing the same thing go down with the same responses...over and over and over again. I guess I thought it was time for something....else. Something honest. Something even *remotely* self reflective.

Then:

The thing that the sixties did was allow us (The general "us", the country of "us") to believe that equality is something that can be legislated, that once it's 'on the books', there's no further need for discussion. But the experiences of individuals is what creates any 'ism', and you simply can't legislate that. 

So yeah, for what....40 years? There's been a story, a myth, that because of the 60s, racism does not operate in America. Even when literally thousands of stories can be found to contradict this. We put so much energy into these myths that all the things that add up to disprove them cannot be seen....it's too scary to think that we have so far to go, especially after so much went into something that appeared to be a solution.

I honestly think that all of these issues that have been coming up lately: the apparent war on women's reproductive health, queer rights, and racism, of course--they all deserve some serious sit-down time. Which will never happen. The people who believe in the system do so whole-heartedly, and in my experience, react to any request for discussion that threaten to dismantle by completely shutting down, by reverting to the adult equivalent of sticking their fingers in their ears and chanting "I can't hear you!" And we on the other side do the same, unfortunately, when our rage reaches a point where we can't see how we demonize and "one-dimensionalize" those we disagree with. 

I've been trying to figure out how to instigate real conversation between people who use not only completely different language, but are working with completely different sets of concepts around these issues with no luck. Hannah, this seems like what you do....any thoughts? I'm so close to just deeming it impossible and trying to find a nice, cool place to hang out with Liz and my dog and let my writing be found posthumously.

It just seems pointless to continue pretending that any of this is doing any good.  All of the commentary, all of the debate....it doesn't get us anywhere because it's all avoidant of the issues that lie at the heart of all this, which is something like....I don't know.  Our fear of differences? The ease of stereotyping?  (Dare I say, the neurobiological predisposition to do so?) The refusal to allow ourselves to live in complexity?

This was not a simple "racial" case--so much was at work here.  Much of it, yes, stems from racial beliefs, but where do those come from?  And can we honestly believe that we can simply ignore those roots?

Too frustrated and too sick to write more.  Time to cuddle with Dog.